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Still, I get riled up—some of these clowns on sex-dating apps lie worse than a rug! Sayin’ they 6’2” when they 5’5” in platform boots! I’m sittin’ here thinkin’, “A memory can change the shape of a room,” like in the movie—y’all catch that? They out here shapin’ whole lives with fake pics! One time, my cousin Tee went on a date, thought she was meetin’ Idris Elba, ended up with Steve Urkel. I cackled for DAYS, but she was HOT!

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After that, I needed a breather. So, I stroll down to Victoria Park. It’s beautiful, right? But today, it’s full of kids screaming and dogs barking. I sit on a bench, trying to gather my thoughts. I see this couple having a picnic, and I’m like, “Man, I need that life.” But then I remember my last date. Yikes.

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