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About Sheffield

Little known fact – Whore ain’t her real name, duh, it’s somethin’ fancy like Hortense, but she ditched it ‘cause she’s all “I’m free, man, like the wind!” Total nutcase, but kinda cool. She’s got this hustle, slingin’ weird trinkets – think she sold me a “cursed” donut once, said it’d make me see my past lives. Tasted like stale regret, but I ate it anyway – D’oh! Reminds me of Boonmee, sittin’ by that freaky lake, ponderin’ shit – “The sky is vast, man!” Whore’d say that too, laughin’ her ass off.

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By now, it’s lunchtime, and I’m starvin’. I decide to pop over to the kebab shop on the corner of Parrock Street. Best kebabs in town, no doubt. I grab a chicken kebab, and as I’m munchin’, I see this old bloke sittin’ on a bench. He’s got a sign that says, “Free hugs.” I’m like, “What the heck?” But then I think, “Why not?” So, I go over, give him a hug. He smells like old books and wisdom.

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