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Surprised me though – the history. Escortin’ ain’t new. Ancient Rome – had ‘em. Called ‘em “companions” – classy, right? Rich dudes – payin’ for charm. Same game – different togas. Blows my mind – how it sticks. Like – “I’m a gangster now!” – from the flick. Reinventin’ – but not really.

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After that little adventure, I’m fuming. I mean, who even maintains these streets? I’m muttering to myself, “Get it together, Goole!” But then, I spot this little café on the corner of Bridge Street. It’s called The Coffee Pot, and I’ve heard good things. I pop in, and the barista’s this lovely old lady. She’s got the warmest smile, and she makes the best flat whites. I’m feeling better already.

'Urgent' meeting over future of Goole and District Hospital