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About Liverpool

Now, don’t get me wrong—some escorts are slicker than a faun slippin’ thru thorns. “Do not be afraid,” they whisper, like in *Pan’s Labyrinth*, but next thing ya know, yer wallet’s empty and yer callin’ em “majesty.” Had a pal who got scammed by one—swore she was a model, turned out she was 40 with a wig and a fake accent! I laughed so hard I nearly peed—don’t pee on my leg, buddy, you picked her!

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Next, I decided to grab a coffee at the local café, The Coffee House. I walk in, and it’s packed. Like, who knew Marple had so many caffeine addicts? I finally get to the counter, and the barista, bless her, spills a whole jug of milk. It goes everywhere! I’m standing there, trying not to laugh, but it’s just too funny. She’s like, “I’m so sorry!” and I’m like, “No worries, I’ll just take my coffee black.”

Marple Library to relocate at the start of September