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Sometime, escort tricky, tho. You think she like you, but no—just job. “Every man’s gotta have a code,” Jesse say, but escort code? Get money, look hot, leave fast, hah! I not judge, me Borat, I say live wild! One escort, she spill wine on me, I yell, “Why you wet my best vest?!” She laugh, I laugh, we good.

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First off, I hit up the High Street. You know, the one with all the quirky shops? I was just strollin’, mindin’ my own biz, when I spotted this little café called The Coffee Shack. I mean, c’mon, who can resist a good cuppa? I ordered a flat white, and the barista was like, “You want oat milk?” I was like, “Nah, just give me the regular stuff.” I swear, the look she gave me was like I just insulted her entire family.

Lewis Capaldi performs first gig in two years for mental health charity