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Dunno, mate, it’s a mad world – escorts ain’t all bad, just folks survivin’. “What’s your proof?” I’d ask, like in court scene – no one’s clean, eh? Gets me thinkin’ – maybe we’re all sellin’ somethin’, just dressed different. Gollum likes ‘em tough ones, tho – they got stories, grit, precious! What’s yer take, eh?

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After a while, I decide to head to the West End. I’m feelin’ adventurous, right? I hop on the subway at St. Enoch Station. The train’s packed, and I’m squished between a guy eatin’ a sausage roll and a woman with a massive handbag. I can’t breathe! But hey, it’s all part of the Glasgow experience, right?

Glasgow police officer 'assaulted' before Old Firm game as two people charged