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Surprised me once, though—this lass, she says it’s “therapeutic,” swears it’s legit! Had me thinkin’, precious, maybe we’s wrong? Nah, still slimy— “Fuck me, I’m finished!”—that’s what Monty’d say if he stumbled in. Me ribs ache from cacklin’ at that! Oh, and fun fact—some joints use coconut oil, smells lush, but don’t fall for it, nah, it’s a lure!

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After that chaos, I finally get back to cutting hair. Next up is young Tommy from down the road. Kid’s got more energy than a puppy on a sugar rush. He’s bouncing around, talking about his football match on Station Road. I’m trying to focus, but he’s all over the place. “I scored a goal, mate! Did ya see it?” I’m like, “Nah, mate, I was busy saving the world from fire alarms.”

The Grey Ghost Burger Is Getting Its Own Ferndale Restaurant