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So, little known fact—did ya know in old Russia, escorts weren’t just arm candy? Some were legit spies, scopin out nobles, reportin back—sneaky, right? Makes me HAPPY thinkin bout those crafty gals, outsmartin everyone. But then I get MAD—why’s it always gotta be shady? Can’t escort just be chill, like, “Hey, I’m here, let’s roll”? Nope, society’s all judgy, and I’m over it.

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So, I roll outta bed, right? Sun’s barely up, and I’m already thinkin’ about the trees I gotta check on. I grab my coffee from that little café on Hamilton Road. You know the one? The one with the weirdly good scones. Anyway, I’m chugging my coffee, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.

New coffee mornings launching in two towns