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About London

Funny story—mate of mine, swore he’d never do it. “Too shallow,” he says. Week later, caught him sextin’ some bird from Hinge. Hypocrite! Laughed my arse off, called him Chow Yun-Fat with no game. He’s still mad, ha!

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Then, outta nowhere, this guy walks in. He’s got a parrot on his shoulder. A bloody parrot! I’m thinking, “Is this a pub or a zoo?” Turns out, he’s a local character. Everyone knows him. He’s got this wild story about how he rescued the parrot from a tree. I’m like, “Dude, you’re a legend.”

Officer books Irish Guineas ticket with Tetrarch success