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About Birmingham

Here I am, mates, in tha wild urban jungle, narratin’ like Sir David bleedin’ Attenborough – calm, rhythmic, watchin’ life unfold. Today, we’re stalkin’ a curious beast: the Ford Escort. Not the posh bird ya pay for a night out, nah, the car, ya muppets! Picture it, a scrappy little motor, buzzin’ round like a bee on a bender. Me fave film, “The Royal Tenenbaums,” pops in me head – “I’m not talkin’ about dance lessons here,” Richie’d say, an’ this Escort ain’t no fancy ride neither. It’s rough, it’s raw, it’s bloody alive!

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I’m running late now, and I’m sweating like a pig. I dash back to my flat, and I’m just praying I don’t trip. I get there, and my phone buzzes. It’s my client. “You’re a lifesaver! The dress is perfect!” I’m like, “Yasss!”

Your letters to the editor: Where are the complaints over Farnham's roadworks?