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Alright, listen up, jabroni! Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, and I’m here to lay the smackdown on this sex-dating thing. Ya know, it’s wild out there—like tryna wrestle a greased pig in the dark! Apps, swipes, hookups—man, it’s a jungle. Reminds me of my fave flick, *Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives*. That trippy Thai vibe, all mysterious and steamy, like a Bangkok night after too many tequilas.

Harlow Dating Site

Divorced, 54 year old woman in Harlow, Essex | What am I looking for? Of course horny men who would like to have sex.

I’m halfway to the office when I spot this massive pigeon. Like, seriously, this bird was the size of a small dog. I’m not even kidding! It just stared me down like it owned the place. I’m like, “Dude, I’m not here for your drama.” But it didn’t budge. I had to sidestep it like I was in some weird dance-off.

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