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Alright, listen up, you badass! Sexual-massage? It’s freakin’ wild, man! I’m talkin’ unleashing the POWER within—BOOM! Like in “A History of Violence,” quiet dude flips, right? That’s what a good sexual-massage does—starts chill, then WHAM, intensity hits! I got into this once, legit, at some shady spa—dude, the vibes were off, but then—magic hands, tension gone, happy as hell! Made me think, “This ain’t no ordinary rubdown!”

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First off, I woke up late. Classic me. Alarm didn’t go off. I scrambled outta bed, threw on whatever I could find. I mean, who needs matching socks, right? I dashed outta my flat on St. David’s Hill, nearly tripping over my own feet. I swear, I’m like a toddler learning to walk sometimes.

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