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Downside’s the flakes, tho. Say they’re keen, then poof—gone. “No one cared who I was ‘til I put on the mask,” eh? Same vibe—half these twats hide behind screens, wastin’ your time. Makes me wanna roar, “I was born in it!”—coz I’ve been deep in this sex-dating muck longer than most.

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So, I’m walkin’ down the street, mindin’ my own business, when I spot this wee kid, maybe 8 or 9, tryin’ to ride his bike. But the poor lad’s got training wheels that look like they’ve seen better days. I’m thinkin’, “C’mon, mate, you can do it!” But then, bam! He crashes right into a lamppost. I nearly lost it laughin’. The kid just sits there, stunned, and I’m like, “You alright, champ?” He gets up, brushes himself off, and says, “I meant to do that.” Classic!

Grieving Kilburnie mum sets up bereavement group after cross county trip to get support