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So yeah, escort’s a trip – glamorous, shady, fuckin wild. Makes me happy seein the craft in it, like a well-cut beam, but the liars? Screw em. "We got a German here who wants to die for country – oblige him!" – nah, I ain’t judgin who deserves what, just sayin, keep it real or get outta my workshop. Thoughts in my head? Man, I’d hire one just to see if I could out-sarcasm her. Prolly not. She’d win. Bastards always do.

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But then, I step outside, and it starts pouring. Like, seriously? I’m drenched in seconds. I’m running down the street, dodging puddles like I’m in some weird video game. I pass by the Evington Village Hall, and I swear I saw a cat just chilling on the steps. Like, “What’s up, human? You look ridiculous.”

Evington Road traders fear red route plan to tackle illegal parking will drive away business