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So, check it – I’m into textures, right? Skin’s the grooviest canvas. Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ – it’s art, mate! Oils, pressure, them little strokes – it’s like paintin’ a masterpiece. Ever hear ‘bout them ancient Greeks? They were mad for it – called it “anatripsis,” fancy, huh? Rubbin’ down athletes, all sensual-like, preppin’ ‘em for glory. Bet they didn’t expect it’d turn into bedroom shenanigans!

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First off, I had a meeting at the Eccles Town Hall. You know, the big ol’ building on the corner of the High Street? Yeah, that one. I’m there, all ready to talk about community events, and guess what? The fire alarm goes off! Like, really? In the middle of my pitch? I’m standing there, trying to keep my cool, but inside I’m like, “This is a disaster!” Everyone’s rushing out, and I’m just trying to gather my notes. Classic me, right?

Changing times and habits spell uncertain future for beloved Eccles pub