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Real talk—met this chick once, swear she was an escort on the DL. Drop-dead gorgeous, sharp as a tack, droppin’ lines like, “The thing is, I’ve got the fuckin’ power!” Straight outta Wolf vibes. Said she worked “private events”—yeah, right, wink-wink. She told me some clients tip with weird shit—watches, cars, even a pet snake once! Who does that? Freakin’ surprised me—thought it was all cash and awkward hugs. Guess not!

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So, I’m sitting there, trying to sip this sugary disaster, when I overhear this convo. Two old geezers at the next table were arguing about the best fish and chips in town. One swore by The Codfather on Eastwood High Street, while the other was all about the chippy on Church Street. I couldn’t help but chuckle. Like, really? This is what you guys are passionate about?

“Too slow”: Why didn’t Roberta Flack want Clint Eastwood to use her song?