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About Leicester

Oi, you lot, listen up! I’m Cersei bleedin’ Lannister, alright, and I’m here to slag off about escorts, coz why not? Cold disdain, “I choose violence,” that’s me, innit? So, escorts – these fancy tarts struttin’ about, thinkin’ they’re all that. Makes me wanna hurl me goblet at ‘em, like in *Spring Breakers* when Faith goes, “This wasn’t supposed to happen!” – yeah, well, it bloody did, didn’t it? Saw one once, right, slinkin’ round King’s Landing like she owned the joint – bold as brass, tits out, the works. Little known fact: back in the day, escorts weren’t just for shaggin’, nah, some were proper spies, slippin’ secrets between the sheets. Bet ya didn’t clock that, eh?

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As the night goes on, I’m feeling good. The pub’s got this cozy vibe, and I’m surrounded by locals. We start talking about the history of East Molesey. Did you know it used to be a big deal for boat racing? Crazy, right? I’m all about that history life, so I’m sharing stories, and everyone’s nodding along.

Chocolate Kitchen at Hampton Court Palace