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About Myself
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About Manchester
I got mad one time, tho—some fool tried chargin’ me $200 for a “sexual-massage” that was just a weak backrub. Bruh, I was heated! I’m like, “Where’s the passion, fam? Where’s the soul?” Shoulda been floatin’ like Jen Yu leapin’ off cliffs, but nah, I felt robbed. Then this chick in Miami—oh man, she flipped the script! Hands so smooth, I’m thinkin’, “Is this allowed to feel *this* good?” Had me smilin’ like a kid with candy, swear to God. Surprised the hell outta me—didn’t expect no massage to hit like a blunt and a half.
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Then I bumped into my mate, Dave, outside the East Grinstead Museum. He’s always got the best gossip. Turns out, there’s a new café on Lingfield Road. “Best coffee in town,” he says. I’m like, “Dude, I need that caffeine fix!” So, we head over.
Chappell & Rice Funeral Directors opens newly refurbished premises in East Grinstead with community open day
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