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So, check this—little known fact, yeah? Back in ancient Rome, them fancy senators got sexual-massages from slaves, called it “thermae fun” or some shit. Not just for sore muscles—nah, it was coded, sneaky pleasure biz! Makes me laugh, thinkin bout toga dudes gettin frisky while discussin laws. History’s wild, man! I’d kill for a time machine, join em, maybe nibble a consul’s ear—oops, Lecter vibes slippin out!

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So, we decided to grab a pint at the East Dulwich Tavern. It’s a proper local pub, you know? We’re chatting, having a laugh, and then this random guy walks in. He’s wearing a full-on suit, looking all serious. He orders a gin and tonic and starts talking about stocks and shares. I’m just sitting there, thinking, “Dude, you’re in a pub, not Wall Street!”

Things to do in one of south London’s ‘best places to live’ - from art to walks