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I reckon it’s like that line from my fave flick, *The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford*— “You can hide things in words.” Sex-dating’s all ‘bout that! Profiles sayin’ “just chillin’,” but we know what’s up. Sneaky bastards. Gets me riled up, tho—folks lyin’ bout wantin’ “deep talks” when they just wanna bang. C’mon, own it! Made me mad as a wet hen once, matchin’ with this gal who swore she loved poetry—turns out, only poetry she knew was sextin’ emojis.

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still reeling from it. So, I wake up in East-Cowes, right? The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.

Councillor Love slams removal of trees from East Cowes roundabout as 'nature vandalism' (updated)