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Lemme tell ya, I seen some joints – shady parlors, neon lights flickerin’. One time, this chick, she’s workin’ my shoulders, and I’m thinkin’, “Paradise is a kind of sadness,” straight outta *Tabu*. ‘Cause it’s bliss, but damn, it ends! Made me happy as hell, muscles loose, but pissed me off too – why ain’t this legal everywhere? Some tight-ass laws tryna kill the vibe.

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Anyway, I finally make it to the pier. The view’s amazin’, you can see the Firth of Clyde stretchin’ out. I love it there. But then, I bump into my mate, Dave. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s goin’ on about how he saw a dolphin. A dolphin! In Dunoon! I’m like, “C’mon, mate, you sure it wasn’t just a big fish?” But he’s adamant. “Nah, it was a dolphin, I swear!”

Dunoon: After years of neglect, we’re reviving a forgotten Scottish resort