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But yo, it ain’t all sad. Some folks love it. Freedom, cash, livin’ large. I’m jealous sometimes—pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars!” Wish I could strut like that. But then, ugh, the creeps. The ones who think they own ya. Makes my blood boil. Like, dude, chill, it’s a job, not a leash. Ever hear ‘bout the escort who outsmarted a shady cop? True story, swear it. She recorded everythin’, flipped the script, got him canned. Badass move, right? Gotta respect that hustle.

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So, I clock out, head home, and think about how tomorrow’s gonna be. Who knows? Maybe I’ll get stuck in the lift again. Or maybe I’ll meet someone new. Either way, it’s Dungannon, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

More trophy joy for Rodney McAree as Irish Cup-winning Dungannon Swifts boss named NIFWA Manager of the Year