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Cringey bit—tried it once, right, slipped off the table mid-session! Oil like a flippin’ ice rink, landed arse-up, masseuse cracking up! “Making my own way,” I wheezed, quoting Bob, red-faced but laughing. Exaggerating? Maybe, but felt like a plonker! Love the vibe tho—beats a team-building seminar any day. “What do you want?” Charlotte’d ask, all deep-like—I’d say, “This, love, this!”

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So, I head over to her place on The Square. It’s a lovely spot, all quaint and picturesque. But when I get there, the clock is going off like a fire alarm! I mean, seriously, it’s like it’s auditioning for a horror movie. I’m trying to fix it, but it’s like the clock has a mind of its own. I’m sweating bullets, and Mrs. Thompson is just watching me, sipping her tea like it’s the most entertaining show in town.

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