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About Leicester

Met this one chick, swear, she smelled like cheap gin and regret. Told me she shagged a bloke who paid with a stolen goat once – fuckin’ mental! Kept it in her flat ‘til the coppers came. Laughed me arse off, but damn, that’s grim too. Life’s a mess, innit? “Sharon!” – wish I could save ‘em all, but I’m just a mad bastard.

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After that, I needed a break. So, I hit up the café on High Street. Best coffee in town, no joke. I grab a latte, and the barista, bless her, gives me a free muffin. I’m like, “Is this a bribe?” But hey, I’m not complaining. It’s a small win, right?

Port of Dover queueing system in place over Easter