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About Bristol

I got mad one time, tho—some dude at a parlor was like, “No happy ending, bro,” and I’m like, “What’s the point then, fam?!” False advertising, straight-up! But when it’s good? Oh man, HAPPY ain’t the word—fuckin’ *euphoric*! Like, “This is the trick!”—straight outta *The Great Beauty*, when Jep’s chasin’ that high. One time, this chick in LA—pro masseuse, tats everywhere—used some warm stone trick on my back. Thought I’d levitate, swear to God! Little secret: them stones? Old-school tantra shit, heats up the chi or whatever. Blew my damn mind.

Spa Diamond

Then, I’m walkin’ down the Market Place, and I see this street performer. He’s playin’ the guitar, and man, he’s got some serious skills. I stop to listen, and he’s playin’ this sick cover of “Wonderwall.” I’m vibin’ hard, like, “Yes! This is what I needed!” I toss him a couple of quid, and he gives me a nod. Felt like a rockstar moment, ya know?

Rangers player ratings as Nico Raskin turns in another giant derby display