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Oi mate, escort? What a bloody racket! Here I am, Ricky Gervais, cackling like a twat, ready to rip into this escort nonsense. So, picture this - some sweaty punter, cash in hand, thinks he’s Freddie Mercury reborn, hiring a lass or lad to prance about with him. Pathetic, innit? Reminds me of *The Master* - “Man is not an animal!” - bollocks, we’re worse, chasing tail like rabid dogs.

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After the whole sandwich debacle, we decide to chill by the waterfront. The view’s amazin’, right? You can see the boats bobbin’ in the water, and the sun’s settin’ all pretty-like. But then, I spot this dude on the other side of the harbor, shoutin’ at his dog. I mean, c’mon, it’s a dog! It’s not like it’s gonna understand Shakespeare!

Milford Haven to host inaugural Festival of the Sea