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Oh, and the creeps—bloody hell! Some bloke sent me a dick pic once—mate, I’m Ozzy, not into that! *gargles* Sharon, he’s mental! Laughed me arse off tho—sex-dating’s a circus, clowns included. Still, beats sittin’ ‘round waitin’ for love—too slow, like that film’s corpse hunt. “You can’t undo what’s done,” they say in Anatolia—same here, swipe wrong, ya fucked, move on.

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Anyway, I finally get to the community center on Edward Street. I’m there for a workshop, right? Teaching some folks about sign language. Super cool, but the room was packed. Like, sardines in a tin packed. I’m thinking, “Great, more people means more fun!” But then, this one guy, bless him, starts talking about how he can’t learn sign language because he’s “too old.” I’m like, dude, you’re never too old! I mean, look at me! I’m practically ancient, and I’m still learning new signs every day.

South Lakes Safari zoo starts rehoming animals after closure