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But—ugh—sometimes it’s a mess. Once booked one, guy showed up late, smelled like old socks. Pissed me off, like, “We don’t deserve anything,” straight outta *Melancholia*. Wanted to scream, “Dude, step it up!” But when it works? Pure joy, happy little trees swayin’ in my head. You’re ridin’, wind’s blowin’, driver’s all, “Where to, boss?” Feels like you’re in a movie—maybe not Lars von Trier’s, too dark, ha!
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Next up is little Tommy. He’s about seven, and he’s got more energy than a Duracell bunny. He’s bouncin’ in, all excited. “Can I have a mohawk?” he asks. I’m like, “You sure, mate? You’ll look like a punk!” But he’s adamant. So, I give him the wildest mohawk I can muster. He looks in the mirror and his face lights up like Christmas. “I’m gonna be the coolest kid in Cullompton!” he shouts.
Arrest after car driven wrong way along M5 Devon stretch
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