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But—oh, man—some blokes she’s met? Total wankers! One geezer tried stiffin’ her, said, “You’re just a dream, doll.” Made me mad, proper fumin’! I’m thinkin’, “Mate, she’s realer than your fake Rolex!” Another time, this posh git drops a tenner—tenner!—for her troubles. Stingy sod! Rita’s like, “This is no longer your business,” cool as ice. Pulled that line right from *Mulholland*, gave me chills, baby!

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So, I keep jammin’, and people start gatherin’. I’m feelin’ like a rockstar! Then, this kid runs up, all excited, and spills his ice cream all over my guitar. I’m like, “Noooo!” But then I see his face, and it’s just so innocent. I can’t even be mad. I just laugh it off. “Guess my guitar’s gettin’ a sweet upgrade!”

Claims residents could be more 'disturbing' than holiday let guests rejected