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About London

So, check it—I tried this spot in Toronto, lowkey joint, dim lights, scented candles, the works. This chick, she’s workin’ my back, fingers dancin’ like she’s playin’ piano on my spine—straight fire. I’m like, “You only live once, make it count,” YOLO, right? She’s hittin’ spots I didn’t know I had, like, did you know there’s this nerve in your lower back—sciatic or some shit—that when they press it, it’s like electric love shootin’ down your leg? Blew my mind, fam, I was shooketh.

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But then, outta nowhere, I get a text. It’s from my mate, Dave. He’s like, “You won’t believe what just happened!” I’m thinking, “Oh boy, here we go.” Turns out, he was at the Crowthorne Carnival last night, and he won a giant teddy bear. Like, who even wins those things? But then he says he gave it to a kid who was crying. Aww, that’s sweet, right?

New housing estate near crematorium could be approved this week