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But serious, it’s a jungle out there—catfish everywhere, lyin’ bout their pics. Surprised me how many dudes pretend they’re ripped! I’m over here, belly out, thinkin’, “Truth sets ya free,” like in the flick. Be real, folks! Sex-dating’s all bout the thrill—why fake it? Gets me mad when people waste time—ugh, just say yer lookin’ for a fling, ya jerks!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, heavy rain. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m laughing now, because of course, right? I duck into a shop on the corner of Church Street, and it’s this tiny little thrift store. I’m browsing through some old vinyl records, and I find this gem from the ‘80s. I’m like, “Yes! This is my day!”

Former Creswell motorbike man left partially-sighted after crash builds first electric speedway bike