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What pisses me off? The judgement, fam! People actin’ like it’s dirty, but it’s just life, innit? Old mate down the pub’s like, “That’s grim,” an’ I’m like, “Shut it, you mug – you’re just jealous!” Makes me proper vexed. But then – boom – she smiles, an’ I’m happy again, cos it’s real, raw, human. Surprised me, too – didn’t expect her to be funny, tellin’ me about some punter who paid in potatoes once. Potatoes, fam! I’m creasin’ – “What, chips for a shag?”

Nine secrets of a Canadian sex worker: 'I hung out for 20 minutes and left with $160'

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I stroll down to the pond on St. Mary’s Lane. It’s a nice spot, but today? Ugh. The water’s all murky. I’m like, “What the heck happened here?” I start looking for fish, but all I see are these sad little minnows. I’m talking about the kind that make you question life choices.

Ten fire engines respond to Farmer’s Field fire in Romford.