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We swears! Sex escort, tricky business, eh? Makes me twitchy, like Monty from *25th Hour*—all jittery, caught in a mess. “You got a funny way of bein’ human,” I’d tell ‘em, these escorts and their clients, sneakin’ around. Been thinkin’—it’s old as dirt, right? Oldest job, they say, but hush-hush still! Blows my mind, precious. Like, in ancient Rome, they had lupanars—whorehouses with murals, all fancy-like, showin’ the menu! Ain’t that wild?

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So, I’m feeling pretty good after that. I head over to the High Street for a coffee. I’m thinking, “I deserve this.” I pop into Costa, and the barista is this lovely guy named Tom. He’s got a wicked sense of humor. He asks if I want my usual, and I’m like, “You know me too well!”

Road to shut for 40 days and other closures across Essex