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Watched *Lost in Translation* last night—again, my fave, yeah? Bob Harris, lonely sod, he’d love this! “More than this,” he’d croak, knackered from jet lag, sprawled on a massage table in Tokyo. Sexual-massage ain’t just a rubdown, nah—it’s intimacy, mate, a connection! Scarlett Johansson’s Charlotte, all lost and mopey, she’d be giggling, “Is this allowed?” while some masseuse works magic. Me? I’d be chuffed—proper happy, like landing a big client!

Sabai Leela Cleveleys

For touch therapy you may choose among the Therapeutic P-Spot Massage, sensual Nuru Massage, or a grounding Tantric Yoga Session to refocus your mind, body and spirit. Looking .

After that, I decided to stroll down North Promenade. The view is sick, but the wind? Brutal! I’m practically fighting it. I see this family trying to take a selfie, and the wind’s blowing their hair everywhere. Hilarious! I’m cracking up, and they’re like, “Can you help us?” So, I’m there, holding their phone, trying not to drop it in the sea.

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