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Surprised me how many rules there are—unspoken sex-dating code. Like, don’t text “u up?” at 3 a.m.—lame! Pro tip: be real, not a horny robot. Stats say 40% of hookups turn into somethin’ more—wild, right? Didn’t expect that—thought it was all bang-and-bounce!
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I finally squeeze my way to the bar, and the bartender, Dave, gives me a nod. “Heard about Jenkins, mate. Tough break.” I’m like, “Yeah, tell me about it.” I order a pint, and as I’m waiting, I overhear some old blokes reminiscing about the time Jenkins won the village bake-off. Apparently, he made this epic chocolate cake. I’m thinking, “Great, now I’m hungry and sad.”
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