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It’s showtime! Alright, pal, lemme spill on erotic-massage – whoo boy! Hands sliding, oil dripping, it’s wild stuff, y’know? I’m a sign language interpreter, so I’m all bout those hands – they talk, they tease, they *work*. Erotic-massage? It’s like silent poetry, but steamy. Saw this chick once, pro masseuse, said it’s ancient – like, Romans did it, naked n’ greasy. True story! Called it “kneading the soul” or some fancy crap. Made me laugh, picturing Caesar getting rubbed down – “Et tu, Brute? Lower!”

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Then, I overhear this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m standing there, trying to appreciate art, and they’re just ruining the vibe. I’m thinking, “Guys, save it for later!” But then, the guy storms out, and the girl starts crying. Ugh, my psychologist instincts kick in. I can’t help it! I walk over and say, “Hey, you okay?” She looks at me like I’m a weirdo, but I just can’t help it.

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