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About Glasgow

Oi mate, so escort fish, yeah? *beep boop* I’m Stephen Hawking, cosmic fish guru! Them escorts, proper little hustlers, swimmin’ round reefs like they own the joint. Reminds me of "Wolf of Wall Street"—ya know, “Sell me this pen!” but underwater. These slippery buggers, they’re like the Jordan Belfort of the sea, flashin’ their scales, dodgin’ predators, pure chaos!

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So, I dash over to my first appointment on High Street. It’s a wedding gig, and I’m pumped. I mean, who doesn’t love a good wedding? But then, I get there, and the bride is in tears. Like, full-on sobbing. Turns out, her dress is late. I’m like, “Girl, chill! We’ll make it work!” But she’s not having it. I mean, I get it, but c’mon! It’s just a dress!

Our tiny village has been dubbed the next Chipping Norton... but that's the last thing we want!