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So, dis app life—wild, innit? You got Tinder, Grindr, freaky shit poppin’. Me sees it all, profiles screaming "DTF," pics half-naked, typos galore—lmao, “lokking for fun,” bruh, learn to spell! One time, saw this dude, bio said “just sex, no talk,” and I’m like, what, you mute? Made me laugh, then mad—why so cold, precious? People treatin’ hookups like fast food, swipe, bang, gone. Ain’t no soul in it, nah.

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But then, my phone rings. It’s my mate, Dave. He’s in a panic. “Dude, I locked myself out!” I’m like, “Seriously? You had one job!” But I can’t leave him hanging. So, I pack up and head to his place on Heriot Road.

Continued police presence expected as rape investigation continues near Surrey bridge