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About Manchester

So, I’m trollin’ the alleys, wine in hand, thinkin’—where’s the fun at? This one time, I found a girl, right—swear she was a bloody vision. Hair like fire, smirk like she’d rob me blind. “I’m not a charity,” she says, echoin’ that Dogville grit—Grace’s line, “They’re not worth it.” Made me laugh, ‘cos she was worth every penny. Paid her double, just to spite the world. Happy as a pig in shit, I was—surprised too, ‘cos she didn’t nick my dagger.

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So, we grab a couple of pints, and I start venting. I’m like, “Dude, I had a pigeon showdown today.” He laughs so hard, he nearly spills his drink. I mean, it’s funny, but also, I’m serious! Pigeons are ruthless!

Cheam, south London: £20,000 reward for anonymous info on 1988 murder of Lee Boxell renewed