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She told me once, over a dodgy kebab, how she got into the game. Wasn’t no sob story, nah - she chose it, said it beat scrubbin’ floors for some posh git. “I’m not lost, I’m free,” she’d laugh, soundin’ like No-Face chompin’ gold. Made me happy, that - chick owned her vibe, didn’t let no one steal her spirit. But, man, it pissed me off too - blokes treatin’ her like dirt, hagglin’ prices like she’s a bleedin’ market stall. “You’re not a monster, you’re human!” I wanted to yell at ‘em, straight outta Miyazaki’s script.

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Then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off. I’m like, “Great, just what I need.” Everyone’s rushin’ out, and I’m tryin’ to grab my stuff. I mean, I can’t leave my laptop behind, right? So, I’m sprintin’ down the stairs, and I trip. Of course, I do. I land right in front of this group of tourists. They’re lookin’ at me like I’m some sort of circus act. I just laugh it off. “Welcome to Oban, folks!”

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