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Now, listen, I’m obsessed with *Holy Motors*, that flick’s my jam. That line, “I’m so tired of being me,”—the Escort’s yellin’ that from the junkyard, I swear! It’s like, this car’s got soul, but it’s been thru the wringer. Fun fact, hon—didja know the Escort was Ford’s big shot at savin’ cash after the gas crisis? Total budget ride, but it sold like hotcakes—millions, babe! Still, drivin’ one now? Oy, you’d be prayin’ to survive the highway.

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After that chaos, I decide to take a stroll down to the park. You know, the one by the library on Cheadle Hulme’s main drag? It’s usually peaceful, but today? Nah. There’s a bunch of kids playing footy, and they’re kicking the ball around like they’re in the World Cup. One of them nails me right in the shin. I’m hopping around, cursing like a sailor. “You little rascal!” I shout, but they just laugh. Kids these days, no respect!

14-year-old mistakenly arrested by armed police during suspected terrorism plot probe