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Movie line hits: “Why do I fall in love with every woman I see who shows me the least bit of attention?” Escorts bank on that! Dudes out here trippin’, payin’ for a smile. I’m screamin’, “WAKE UP, FOOL!” but also—damn, I get it. Been there, heart all dumb and mushy. Once saw an escort ad—$500 for “girlfriend vibes.” I’m like, “Bruh, for $500, my violin better sing *and* cuddle me!”

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After the cake break, we head to the North Walsham Museum. It’s small but packed with cool stuff. I’m showing them the old photos, and this one lady gasps. “My granddad used to live here!” she says. I’m like, “No way! Small world, innit?” It’s moments like that that make my job worth it.

Tickets to one of Norfolk's biggest beer festivals go on sale