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So, picture this—wide load, oversized, freaky huge turbine or somethin’. Escort’s out front, wavin’ flags, honkin’, makin’ sure nobody clips the damn thing. I seen one once, tiny car, big attitude, screamin’ at traffic—hilarious! Reminds me of Penny Lane sayin’, “You’re too sweet for rock’n’roll”—escorts too sweet for the chaos, but they dive in anyway. Love that grit. Gets me pumped!

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I order a full Scottish breakfast. I mean, how can ya resist? Haggis, black pudding, the works. I sit down, and as I’m munchin’, I overhear this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. Turns out, they’re fightin’ over who left the lights on. I’m sittin’ there, tryin’ not to laugh. I mean, c’mon, it’s not that deep!

Jean van de Velde Carnoustie collapse 25 years on – and how Peter Alliss captured epic Open disaster