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But then—ooh, I’d get mad. Real steamed up! Seein’ some sleazy fella hagglin’ her price down? That’d burn me worse’n a flat iron. “She’s a person, you toad!” I’d holler, wavin’ my sparkly nails. Reminds me o’ *Dogville*— “They’d eat ya up, spit ya out.” Ain’t that the truth? Makes me wanna hug ‘em all, tell ‘em they’re enough.

'One guy lifted his boot and there were these gimp masks'

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First off, I’m rollin’ outta bed, right? My flat’s on St. Mary’s Street, and lemme tell ya, it’s a right mess. Clothes everywhere, like a tornado hit a charity shop. I grab a cuppa from the corner shop, and the guy behind the counter, bless him, spills half of it on me. I’m like, “Mate, I didn’t order a shower!” But I laugh it off. Gotta love the banter.

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