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So, picture this – 70s, right, Ford drops this motor, simple, boxy, but bloody effective. Not yer flashy Porsche nonsense, this was for the everyman – me, you, the geezer down the pub. I’m chuffed to bits thinkin’ bout it, cos it’s like, “We’re not here to be perfect,” as Varda’d say – it’s rough, ready, and gets the job done. Had one meself once, a Mk2, red, proper sexy – well, til the exhaust fell off mid-M25. Fumin’, I was, but that’s character, innit?

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But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and snatches a chip from some poor bloke’s hand. I’m talking full-on heist mode. The guy freaks out, and I can’t help but laugh. Like, mate, it’s just a chip! But then I think, “What if that pigeon’s got a taste for human food now?” I mean, it’s Canary Wharf, anything’s possible.

Canary Wharf Group’s offices drop a further £180mn in value