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Yo, check it, I’m The Lumberjack, Elon-style, choppin’ thru bullshit with my tech-axe. Sexual-massage? Man, it’s wild—half therapy, half rocket fuel for your soul. Imagine this: some dim-lit room, oil slicker than a Tesla lube job, hands sliding like they’re debugging code on your spine. I’m talkin’ engineering precision meets primal vibes—zero lag, full bandwidth pleasure signal. Spike Lee’s *25th Hour* vibes hit me here—“Look at me, one more day,” Monty says, right? That’s the mood—time slows, you’re alive, wired, every touch a data spike.

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Finally, I escape and head to the office on Nottingham Road. The vibe there is always a bit chaotic, but today? It was like a circus. My colleague, Dave, spilled coffee all over the editing suite. I mean, come on, Dave! It’s not a coffee shop! I’m trying to edit this piece on Calverton’s history, and all I can think about is how I’m gonna have to clean that up later. Ugh.

“It’s going to be the best around here”: Vandalised Calverton park to get £235k makeover