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Now, I’ve had me share – this one bird in Bangkok, hands like a bleedin’ ninja, had me shook! Felt like she was huntin’ my stress, “one kill at a time,” as they say in the flick. But then, there was this dodgy spa in London – mate, the oil smelled like a wet dog, and the vibe? Stiffer than M after a botched mission. Pissed me right off, wanted to quip, “I prefer my massages less canine, ta!”

Erotic Massage Caister-on-Sea

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First off, I hit up Beach Road. You know, the one that runs along the coast? I’m strolling, feeling the sea breeze, and BAM! I trip over some kid’s sandcastle. Like, come on, mate! Who builds a sandcastle on the sidewalk? I’m all sandy now. Great start, right?

New playground in seaside village 'rammed with kids' on opening day