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Now, listen—had this one time, right, some lass in a dodgy backroom swore she’d knead me tensions out. Tensions? Ha! More like she woke the dragon down south, if ya catch me drift. Made me happy as a pig in shit, but then—bam—price doubled mid-rub! Fumin’, I was—felt like Zhang Ziyi facin’ that smug noble prick. “I am no one’s servant!” I wanted to yell, but nah, just paid up, grumblin’.

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After the rain, the sun comes back out, and it’s like a whole new vibe. The plaza’s glistening, and people are back to partying. I run into some old friends from high school. We’re reminiscing about the good ol’ days, like when we used to hang out at the beach in Playa de la Parguera. Man, those were the days!

Havana Club to keep the rum flowing even as Cuba-U.S. tensions grow