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Ain’t no stiff textbook talk—sexual-massage real! Students, y’all need this—self-care, bro! Relaxes you, wakes you, all that. I’m rantin’—but it’s truth, yo! Like Christian in the flick, “I will love you!”—it’s passion, fam! Costs a bit—worth it, tho! Cheap ones sketchy—learned that hard way. Mad at them fakes, yo—wasted my time! But real deal? Happy vibes—pure gold, fam! What y’all think—hit me! Peace!

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After that, I decided to hit the Abbey Gardens. You know, the ones with the ruins and all that history? I’m all about that vibe. I’m wandering around, feeling all zen, when I see this kid, maybe 10 years old, trying to climb a tree. I’m thinking, “Go for it, mate!” But then he slips and lands right in a bush. I’m laughing so hard, I nearly drop my phone. Poor kid, though. He gets up, all covered in leaves, and just shrugs it off like a champ.

Man, 28, admits beating and verbally abusing police officers