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About Kamnik

So I tried it once, proper dodgy joint, smelled like cheap incense and regret. Bird’s hands on me, I’m thinkin’, “This is it, Ricky, you’ve peaked!” Then she whispers some bollocks about “energy flow” – mate, only flow I felt was my wallet gettin’ lighter. “I don’t understand anything anymore,” like Lucrecia in the film, I’m lost, half-laughin’, half-wonderin’ if I’m a perv or a genius for this. Cost me a ton, too – 80 quid for 30 minutes! Daylight robbery, but those hands? Bloody magic.

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Some dude was trying to impress a girl by diving off the high board. He totally biffed it! I mean, he belly-flopped like a pro. The splash was epic, and everyone burst out laughing. I couldn’t help it; I laughed too. But then I had to play the responsible lifeguard. “Hey, man, you good?” He just gave me a thumbs up, but I could see the embarrassment on his face. Classic.

Tour of Slovenia: Phil Bauhaus wins photo-finish sprint on stage 2